5 Common Mistakes that Men Make During Divorce
Clearly going through a divorce is not easy for either party, whether you are a man or a woman. Interestingly enough, an AARP study found that women initiate two-thirds of divorces and the majority of separations. Due to this, there are quite a few mistakes that men make during the divorce process.
Here are 5 of the common mistakes that men make during the divorce process:
1. Moving out of the family home. Many times the wife will request her husband to leave, and by certain standards in may make sense, even to the husband, especially if there are children involved and the wife is the primary caretaker.
However, this is a huge mistake. Moving out almost automatically means that you will have less time with your children. Unfortunately, this quite often skews the custody determination in the wife’s favor.
And of course the other obvious issue with moving out is that it doubles your expenses. Judges typically expect the man to pay the bills, even if they are not living at home. It may not seem fair, especially if the wife is the one who wants the divorce, but a lot of times that is how it happens.
2. Concealing information. Many men find it very tempting to either omit or conceal pertinent information in their divorce case, usually around finances. You may think “nobody will ever find out”. But, the majority of times, someone does find out. And if it’s a forensic accountant or a private investigator, that’s really bad.
Any time you omit or conceal information and someone finds out, you lose immediate credibility and frequently the judge quits listening to your side of the story. So, just don’t do it.
3. Losing your cool. Many men are blind-sided by the request for divorce from their wife, and often times that makes them quite angry. Your wife might also be a manipulator, pushing your buttons like a well-oiled machine. Not to say that men don’t do that too, but this post is about mistakes that men make during divorce!
The key here is to remain cool. Avoid angry outbursts and acts of violence or aggression. Your wife can get you kicked out or file for a protective order and these actions will almost guarantee an impact to your divorce case.
Our advice is to put on your best poker face and walk away if you feel yourself getting angry. Tough to do? For most men, yes it is, but absolutely critical as well.
4. Choosing the wrong attorney. Who you have representing you and negotiating for you can either make or break you, so to speak. What you don’t want to do is hire your buddy who doesn’t practice family law or someone who has cheap rates and promises you the world.
Your best strategy is to hire either a certified family lawyer, or specialized divorce attorney. It’s totally reasonable and expected that you should interview several attorneys before choosing one. Make sure it’s someone you feel comfortable with and trust, because you could be spending a lot of time with them, and of course talking about sensitive personal information.
5. Not spending enough time with the kids. This happens mainly when men move out of the family home. You could either get preoccupied with the divorce process, or just get busy with work and let the time slip away.
Don’t make that mistake. Spending time with your children should be one of your highest priorities during your divorce. You might also consider keeping a journal to document your time spent with them, logging the hours and what you did during those times. These things will greatly help during the child custody determination.
With over 35 years of experience, Penichet & Alberga LLP is a widely recognized criminal defense and matrimonial law attorney in White Plains, New York. Call us as (914) 440-1182 or contact us to schedule a free initial consultation.